Tomorrow......

In the hope for a better tomorrow....
I decide to move forward....

Bullets of doubts
Clouds of risks
And pages of uncertainties
Strike me one by one

The pendulum of SHOULD I or SHOULDN'T I
Finally weighed down at the latter
I took the plunge
And cut the ties with a ribbon-clad knife

Apprehension, Worry, and a little Guilt
Are the immediate escorts
Slowly giving way to
Excitement, anticipation and detachment

Tomorrow the world would know
And a volley of questions will follow
With some feeling glee
And others hopefully low...

In the midst of the events,
I wish and hope
To make the small step
Into a ladder

Life is a bitch that barks at you everytime you smile at it!

When you think or rather assume that you have had a good day, something or the other has to go wrong and hit you where it hurts the most!!

Just when you plan to have a late start for the day, your child refuses to board the school bus, insisting that you drop her to school.

A huge fight with the husband in front of your kid and when the house is full of guests!

A flat tire when you need to reach to a crucial meeting in your favorite outfit...and when you stop to get the tire changed, you can feel the makeup melting away in the humid heat of the day...

A dull, dry, and tedious day in office filled with transactional issues...

And how do you feel if all this happened one after the other in a single day!!

There is no other option other than saying...Life is a Bitch!!!!!!!

Thought for the Day

Take up a job, you like and you will never feel you are working!
But once you do have your dream job, ensure it remains a dream!

Today and always..

Relax and dont think further
What will be will be....

I wish I could work on the above two lines and gain some satisfaction and contentment in life!!!!

Why such restlessness always....there is hardly a time when I am relaxed and satisfied with the way my life is going on....even the quotes of positive thinking on the desktop calendar are not helping anymore....and I can feel the approaching dearth of depression and this general dissatisfaction.

Why life keeps bringing me to face this every once in a while...actually more than once in a while...and as I strive to find ways of getting rid of this morbidity...it
sticks on....leaving me discharged and oblivious to the surroundings...till it finally decides to depart all of a sudden...

And I get up to a bright morning with a song on my lips....and wonder at the dark circles under my eyes as I look in the mirror....

The fading bitter taste in my mouth ...the only reminiscent of the recent turmoil...

The peak and me

Tossing words to and fro
Like Ping Pong balls jumping from one end to the other
Teasing, flirting, and laughing..
They take the excitement to the peak

Then comes the fatal question...
From this peak to where next?
How long can I stay at the peak..
An hour, a day, a week, a month...and thats it..my time expires!

There is a wide undiscovered sky around the peak
But am I ready to take that flight yet?
Am I looking forward to the mysterious ascent?
That I know can be as dissapointing as it looked exciting!

Or do I want to look down at a deep scary descent?
That I can take if I want to return from where I started?
Does the earlier complacent place looks tempting now?
Even after everything has changed and can never be the same again!

Slowly the newsness starts wearing off
The peak is not a very comfortable place to stay long at
It keeps poking me to either jump off back to square one
Or tempts me want to risk an unknown flight!

I look helplessly around...to share my discomfort
And get some advice.
But noone notices me...some are busy in their flights
Others parachuting back to ground zero.

I can hear the clock ticking away noisiliy in my ears
The thuds of my pulse become one with the ticks of the time
I am not ready to leave this exciting peak yet
And its not ready to compromise and let me be

We push against each others wills
Hoping to win and yet praying not to fail
How do I explain to the peak
To make room for me till eternity..

Changes...

I always thought little of moody people....never really understood how people's behavior and attitudes can change in sync with their moods...or lifestyles?

But in the last few months...I am wondering if I have become moody too....or have been one since a while now..without noticing or coming to terms with it and going on in my own strides...looking down at the so called "moody" people in my circle!

What brought this interesting revelation was when I noticed how I started getting intereseted in clothes that I never thought I could wear...or picking up the colors that since a few years ago seemed too garish to my eyes...or even reading up silly stuff...atleast ..what I thought was silly before.....and the most amazing of all....becoming friends with people who I always mentally tagged as "not my types"!

Well will it be called "moody" or "maybe just getting older and wiser" or "less snootier"....(not so flattering but true)

I had always observed such people from a distance and been amazed before...people who metamorphosed into a completely different versions of themselves ....who changed drastically, surprising those around them!

But isnt this kind of a change supposed to happen after a sudden setback like an accident, a divorce, a mishap, etc...?

Reason...I cannot pinpoint at...but surely these little and major changes combine together are an interesting phase that I am beginning to enjoy....

Lets see till when it lasts....or is it a permanent fixture......or maybe it could have been a facet of my personality ever since I grew up....and got a chance of emerging at this juncture of life....

Today’s Thoughts

Take it while you have it even if you don’t want it,
Tomorrow when you will want it, it may not exist anymore….
Let it go when it is leaving even if you don’t want it to,
Tomorrow when you don’t want it, it may not depart anymore….