Resolutions@30

When I was a child, I had made a list at the back of my favorite notebook of things I would be doing when I grow up.

A few days back, while spring cleaning, my eye caught the faded cover of the same notebook tucked away in an old carton. I felt a pang of pleasure mixed with sadness as I flipped to the last page.

Even before I began to read the items, written with pencil colors, I knew that 80% of the things noted there would not have been accomplished.

Where have the years gone by? Why is it that what we visualize as our life in childhood...seldom materializes.....? When do we become so engrossed in day-to-day transactions of life that we forget all about the dreams we used to live for? What have we lost the precious years to?

Today at 30, I don't want to lose any more time.

I don't want to regret NOT doing things I wanted to on my death bed....if i ever get one...one never knows....life and death are unpredictable...this might be the last post on my blog....or this might be the last word of my life.....well......5 mins have gone by....and since I am still around...let me complete the post by putting down the things that I want to do (hopefully) and will be doing before I die.......

• Learn French (Have already started it, VOILA!)
• Write a book (on that idea which has been revolving in my head since years now!)
• Spend a month with my daughter before she grows up and has no time for me! (all 30 days ...entire days with her! well...sounds easy? Believe me, ITS NOT!!)
• Get in touch with all my old school friends (Seems impossible? maybe...)
• Spend a night on the beach with the stars and tides, brushing my soul (and i mean ALL ALONE!)
• Learn to SKI (Hey ALPS, wait for me! coming soon...)
• Perm my hair and dye them PINK (why? dunno! BUT I DO WANT TO!)
• Spend a few days sailing in a ship (not a grand one but a basic ship so that I can feel real ups and downs of the tides.......'romantic'?)
• Walk the ramp once in some exotic dress with all the turns and twists of the cat-walk!(sounds silly? To me too.... )
• Stay in Venice (in one of those quaint houses standing in water) and see the boats pass by through the window.
• Have a sizzling extra-marital affair (husband, be aware!)
• Do paragliding over the white mountains and green valleys! (OK, now am turning mushy in the head!)
• Work for an NGO , especially one working for orphans, for a nobel cause and not think of money and material things! (sounds easy? pls try it!)
• Try to be more patient while driving (especially when the trucks are around on the highway!!)
• And last but not the least....start EXERCISING regularly! (the toughest of all!!! urggggggghh......and the MOST needed)

On a more serious note,

Each day passes by...

The sun shines and makes way for the stars.

Hand-in-hand they conspire...

To bleech my hair and wrinkle my eyes.

I want to stop and turn back...

But my hands are tied to the hands of the clock.

My heart ticks along...

As the calendar pages flip in the slow-moving fan.

I want to tear the veil apart...

That binds and shrouds all my dreams.

--19th May 2006